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2009

The Word - Army of One
If Republicans do what Rush Limbaugh says, they'll get the only vote that matters: his. (05:29)
The Word - The Audacity of Nope
If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all. (05:24)
The Word - Sacrifice
Somehow President Bush manages to make something that was once evil into a virtue. (04:29)
The Word - Sweet Smell of Success
Axe body spray works for awkward teenage males, so it should work for the economy. (05:40)
The Word - Statute of Liberty
If Barack Obama wants people to get the justice they were denied in the past, he should get someone to deny their civil rights now. (05:32)
The Word - Loyal Opposition
he best way for Republicans to win back the trust of the people is to copy the strategy of our enemies. (05:12)
Ponzi Schemes
Bernard Madoff lost less money than AIG and he throws way better parties. (03:28)
Economic Stimulus Debate
Democrats take a page from the Republicans' fear book when selling the economic stimulus bill. (04:38)
The Word - The Audacity Of Hopelessness
Don't lose confidence because of Bear Stearns -- lose confidence because it's the right thing to do. (3:44)
The Word - Pick Sicks
Stephen tries his hand at Oregon's new health care lottery. (4:05)
The Word - Media Culpa
Media, if you want to prove you did your job well in the lead-up to the Iraq war, use the same techniques that McClellan used to sell the war to you in the first place. (4:14)
The Word - U.S. Airweighs
It's embarrassing enough when your doctor tells you to get on the scale. Now replace your doctor with a ticket agent. (4:01)
The Word - Ye of Little Faith
Being eaten alive by the market is better than admitting the government should have any role. (06:41)
The New Word Czar
Michael Steele navigates the subtleties of our language as he talks about the stimulus bill. (02:43)
Bend It Like Beck
Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity. (06:58)
Let Freedom Ka-Ching
Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River. (06:11)
Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission - Jeffrey Toobin
Jeffrey Toobin explains what will happen to elections if the Supreme Court decides in favor of corporations. (04:03)
Learning Is Fundamental
As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy. (05:46)
Arne Duncan
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan wants longer school hours so American students can compete with the rest of the world. (06:30)
Out of the Closet
Republicans and Democrats should march in pride parades and proudly announce their relationship with lobbyists. (05:04)
Cheating Death - Snus & Placebo Effect
Camel develops a new way to deliver smooth carcinogens without lighting up, and placebos become more effective. (06:30)
The Word - Blackwashing
Prevent your valid criticisms of Barack Obama from being unfairly associated with racism by putting on a little blackwashing. (06:29)
The Word - Must-Be TV
If pundits want to save America, they have to do what's wrong to prove they're right. (06:31)
The Word - Hippie Replacement
Soon America's grassroots people-power movements will be rid of the one thing that's holding them back: people. (04:57)
Glenn-Harried Glenn-Lost
Glenn Beck didn't call President Obama a racist, and he didn't compare his health care plan to Hitler's eugenics program. (03:41)
Death Panels
Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich speak out against death panels even though they don't appear in the health care bill. (02:28)
How to Pay for Health Care
Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people. (05:14)
The Fight for the Truth Behind Obama's Birth
Stephen wants to hear from one of the sperm that witnessed President Obama's conception in order to verify his birthplace. (06:18)
Orly Taitz
Stephen thanks Orly Taitz for being one of the few people willing to compare the Obama administration to Nazi Germany. (04:57)
Sarah Palin Will Be Missed
Stephen says goodbye to Sarah Palin in the same way he imagines she writes her own speeches. (02:50)
Health Care Reform Is the Matrix
President Obama's health care reform is a dystopian future filled with chaos and floor-length leather trench coats. (03:04)
Health Care Hell-Scare - Die-agnosis: Mur-DR
Stephen invites expert victims from Canada, France and Spain to relay their horrible experiences of socialized medicine. (05:45)
Sniper Trifle
The only huge surprise about Dick Cheney having his own secret assassination squad is that it didn't include cannibalism. (03:09)
Sniper Trifle - Matthew Waxman
Matthew Waxman discusses the legal argument over whether to alert Congress about certain covert action programs. (03:11)
40th Anniversary of the Moon Landing
To celebrate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, Stephen re-airs his historic broadcast from July 20, 1969. (02:32)
The Word - A Perfect World
Investigating prisoner abuse will be a political food fight, and that is messier than torture. (03:31)
The Word - Neutral Man's Burden
Sonia Sotomayor's personal background should be neutralized the way Band-Aids were when they reached out to minorities. (05:16)
The Word - Guns, Credit, and Corn
The American government can use the defense budget to pay for health care and just turn sick people into a weapons program. (05:10)
The Word - Ban de Soleil
The sun is a dangerous, unchecked nuclear power that causes global warming, and it must be put out. (05:43)
Commonsense Health Care Reform Infomercial
Barack Obama promotes his health care plan on ABC, while Republicans propose their own health care reform with an infomercial. (06:28)

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